Growing Up

I remember distinctly the first time my mother left me home alone.  I was eight, and Mom went to the post office and back, which took about twenty minutes.  Before she left, she locked and double-locked every window and door.  She forbade me to answer the phone or the door under any circumstances.  “I don’t even care if it’s Grandma,” she said.  “You don’t answer the door!”  Then, she waited until I was absorbed in an episode of Full House, reminded me about the phone and the door one last time, and drove away.

She came back before the closing credits, but I recall feeling Quite Grown Up, being at home on my own.  Still, it was years before I was home alone after dark, and only when I was sixteen did I spend a night entirely by myself.  (Even then, it was an unexpected emergency, not a plan.)

In the later chapters of Waiting for Normal, Addie spends more and more time alone – sometimes even for several nights.  As modern day readers, we find it horrifying that Mommers would leave her twelve-year-old uncared for.  The thing is, in centuries past, a twelve-year-old was often considered entirely grown up.  In some cultures even today, a twelve-year-old female might be married and starting her own family.

Why do we all think of twelve-year-old Addie as being a child?  I wouldn’t argue against her being a child; at this point in the story, I desperately want her to have a secure home and a strong parent, the most likely candidate being Dwight.  But when is the time when we know a person is truly an adult?  What marks the moment when someone is entirely “grown up” and ready to be independent?

“the kind of scared you get from a memory”

In chapter fourteen, we finally find out what happened with Mommers before the littles went to live with Dwight.  This is something the author has hinted at throughout the story, but here, Addie finally explains:

“Brynna, Katie, and I had all been in the big bed together at the old house.  They lay asleep.  I lay awake.  Mommers had called the first two nights . . . but she didn’t call [the third night].  Dwight did, and for some reason he asked for Mommers . . . ‘How long has she been gone?’ he asked.  I said, ‘Three.’  ‘Days?’  ‘Yes.’ . . .”

It’s scary to think about, but this sort of thing really happens to some kids.  As a teacher, I’ve actually known children who have had these sorts of experiences.

Some of you readers nine years old; Addie was nine when this happened.  What do you think this experience was like for Addie?  What would it be like if you were left alone for three days and nights?  What if you had two baby sisters to take care of?

Try thinking of it from other perspectives, too.  What do you think this situation was like for Dwight?  He was two hours away when he found out that his girls were home alone.

The hardest perspective for me to imagine is Mommers’.  Why do you think Mommers left her girls alone for so long?  Do you think she believed they were safe?  In the book, Mommers says that she cares about her daughters.  Do you think she really does?  Does she behave as though she does?